a few more jokes

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An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant.  The
first gave birth to a boy.  The chief was so elated he built her a
teepee made of deer hide.  A few days later, the second gave birth,
Also to a boy.  The chief was very happy.  He built her a teepee made
of antelope hide.  The third wife gave birth a few days later, but
the chief kept the details a secret.  He built this one a two story
teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide.
   The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.
   Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that
the third wife had given birth to twin boys.
   "Correct," said the chief.  "How did you figure it out?"
   The warrior answered, "It's elementary.  The value of the squaw of
the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."

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How does a man on the moon cut his hair?  Eclipse it!

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Only three people are left in the the class of new CIA recruits: two men and one woman.  They arrive for the final test of the gruling entrance procedure one at a time.  The first man arrives, and is handed a gun by the proctors.  "This is your final test," they say.  "Your wife is in the next room.  Go in there and shoot her in the head."  The man, without thinking, hands the gun back, saying that he jus isn't cut out for the job.  "Congradulations, you pass." he is told, and he is led away.  The next man arrives, and is also handed a gun.  "Your wife is in the next room.  Go in there and shoot her dead." they tell him.  Somberly, the man goes into the room, but comes back out just a few seconds later.  "I can't do it." he says, and he too is told that he passed.  Finally, the woman arrives and she too is handed a gun.  "Your husband is in the next room.  Go in there and kill him."  She walks into the room, and the proctors hear several pops, followed by a struggle and some loud crashing sounds.   Soon the woman comes out of the room, discheveled and sweating.  "Some idiot loaded the gun with blanks!" she says, "I had to beat him to death with the chair!"

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A man is at the bar, really drunk. Some guys decide to be good samaritans and get him home.

So they pick him up off the floor, and drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and, he falls down four more times.

They ring the bell, and one says, "Here's your husband!"

The man's wife says, "Where the hell is his wheelchair?"